A Dream Too Special to Ignore

Last night I had a dream so real and comforting, I have no choice but to wonder if it wasn’t a sign or a truth of some kind. Something the universe wants me to pay attention to.

I’m not sure I did it justice, but the scene and feeling the dream left me with was so incredibly powerful, I jotted it out this morning. I want this image, this idea, saved forever.

Snow On The Leaves 11192010I wake in a pile of cold wet autumn leaves. As I look around, I have a sense of pain and isolation. Thrown here like trash, is what my heart remembers. Left like the core of an apple—the heart of me still strong, yet my flesh battered to exhaustion.

Plucking away the damp leaves pasted to my skin, I force myself to rise, weary, but sensing I must go. Something pushes me on.

Snow falls lightly from the gray sky, and winding around a distant corner in one direction, long and straight in the other, an open road is before me. Both choices are a mystery as to their destination.

Which way should I go?

I know choosing one path will take me forward and the other will take me back. Something in me tells me which way is which. I choose forward and go toward the curve—somewhere I’m sure I’ve never been.

Each step leaves a footprint, black in the dusting of newly fallen snow. When I check behind me, I see the trail of steps I’ve taken disappearing, covered by flakes now falling steadily. Life goes on as though my paces didn’t matter. It occurs to me that maybe the destination is what has always been most important. 

But, I am not cold to the bone. If anything, I become more renewed with each step. The moisture in the air refreshes me like a drink of cool water, and the sight of purest white on evergreen cleanses me—erases the memories of being discarded and alone.

The walk is long, but I finally approach the bend in the road. I’m about to see my destination. 

A sparkle of music touches my ears. A rhythmic beat. Soulful voices. Quiet, but growing as I go forward. Not just one voice, but three, do I distinguish. I recognize the sound of a guitar and piano. The strings and keys played by fingers that know the tune like an old friend.

The song grows strong and true in its honesty. It’s a genuine greeting, a welcome made for me. The music hugs me and holds me so tight and so lovingly, my heart swells and my throat tightens. This is a love so true and pure, so consuming and deep, it warms me more than any sunshine.

I stop and stand in the path, big round flakes falling around me, and I bask in complete acceptance.

It takes my breath away.

It becomes the breath I take.

It’s so much more than air.


The snow creates a dense fog, but then the scene opens before me—pine trees heavy laden with wet pillows of snow on each bough. A small house sits in the clearing, abandoned and old, weathered, but still standing strong.

On the front porch, is a small band. An old man playing guitar, a girl in a woolen red coat, clapping her hands and singing with all her might, and a young man at an old upright piano, playing with big hands and long knowing fingers, his voice sure and loud. Conviction and truth belt out in his warm tenor and his bluesy melody grabs my mind and holds me in a trance as I gaze through the big wet flakes.

I don’t know what he’s singing, but I believe every word without a doubt. It’s Gospel. It’s the only tune, the only lyrics I’ll ever need again, and I know this is where I want to be—in this wood, at this place, on this road, where I can hear this powerful song of truth.

The young girl’s face shines, and the old man nods, wise and knowing. The younger man beams with joy as he sings the words the old man surely taught him. These three exist forever here, welcoming anyone who can feel the song deeply in their heart.

I am home.





15 thoughts on “A Dream Too Special to Ignore

  1. You are multi-media Gina!

    Thank you.

    Heading into 6 days of double chemo this week, I had a dream on Monday morning:

    A serial killer was stalking Valerie & I.

    He would catch up with us daily, and daily we would eventually escape. During the time we were in his capture, we were terrified, wondering if each day would be our last day.

    But we were also tempted to form a personal relationship with the killer, a glimmer of hope for redeemed fate.

    The purpose for my past 6 days of chemo is, “To kill ALL of the blood cells and stem cells in my body.” Tomorrow I will receive 6 bags of my own frozen stem cells. In the next 7 to 11 days, those stem cells will hopefully find their way to nestle into my bone marrow, much like a seed germinates in the soil. In 7 days I will begin taking Growth Factor shots (these shots were also given to me two weeks ago, before the stem cell harvest) which will act much like fertilizer, to increase stem cell production.

    Is the Killer Frost a serial killer?

    I do not try to dictate or even strive for results as I used to do. Now I increasingly rely upon The Truth as revealed by God’s Word. This equips me to trust in His Will, with a heart of gratitude for His Love & Grace through Christ Jesus.

    • ginabarlean@gmail.com says:

      Glad to have you read and comment. It’s amazing what modern medicine can do. Fascinating to read about your journey. God’s blessings to you, Paul.

  2. What an affirmation! You have what you need – a place that is home and the knowledge that the sacred is all around you (and inside you, too). Your words rang true and honest, Gina. You have found the Truth.

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