Back to Behaving

The Easter weekend has ended. We took our daughter to the airport. It may be a month or five before we see her again. Our son, only in Lincoln, is off to San Antonio tomorrow. Our kids are full-fledged grown-ups now. It’s weird. It’s wonderful, too.

My husband and I listened to our “kids” talk about investments, insurance, taxes, and work. Just a few short years ago (I kid myself… more like eight years now) and these two would have been rough-housing and playing music loud. Ten years earlier than that? Probably throwing things at each other and running out the door to go see friends… a few years before that? I suppose I was hiding Easter eggs. They’d have been biting the ears off their chocolate bunnies. I’d have been convincing my kids to taste broccoli salad… which is now a staple at family holidays.

Times keep changing. Not worse. Not better. Just different. Each stage has its ups and downs, and although I’d say the years when they were little were my favorite, I certainly remember being tired of picking up toys and wiping noses and just being tired in general. The energy it took to raise little ones exhausted me. It’s a task for the young. I don’t have grandchildren yet, but wonder if I’ll have enough pep to babysit if I’m ever blessed with the opportunity.

This is one of the reasons I’ve been working hard to lose weight. I have a lot of life to live yet and if I don’t get in better shape, I won’t enjoy those years. Maybe I can go as far to say that I don’t believe I’d really deserve them. I owe my family, my future grandkids, and myself the best woman I can be. Healthy. Happy. Active. Able.

In that vein, the hubs and I have not spent a lot of time thinking about yummy food over the last three months. Oh, I think about food a lot, but not about how delicious it will be. I think about the amount of nutrition and calories it has. The best way to cook it. How to best use the calories we have each day. This is all something we never used to think about. Ever. It’s why we were both overweight and why we need to think about our health now. We need to relearn how to see food, make food, and eat food. So far, my husband’s lost around twenty pounds and I’ve lost around thirty. Eating healthy food works.

Back to the past weekend. I made healthy food with veggie and fruit options. I used ground turkey instead of ground beef. I didn’t make any desserts. There are no chips and dips in this house. Fruits, cheeses, baby carrots, sugar snap peas for snacks. I made meals and tried to set the example of taking small portions. All things I should have done when I was raising my kids, but you know, if wishes were horses, beggars would ride, as the saying goes. I can’t change the past.

My kids were very good-natured about the change in how we ate, although my son rolled his eyes at our portions and had seconds and thirds. It’s not like I made tasteless food. We had spaghetti and meatballs one night, shrimp and ground turkey fajitas another night, a full German breakfast for brunch which meant meats, cheeses, fruit, boiled eggs, etc. Salad. Really. We did good.

Then the Easter dinner arrived. For us… Easter means Ham. Dreaded Ham. Delicious Ham. Evil Ham!!

I’ve been training myself to eat food for fuel and nutrition more than taste. It all tastes fine, of course, but there’s a huge difference between a clean tasting and satisfying salad with turkey meat, sunflower seeds, and a boiled egg…. than a big slice of ham with mustard and brown sugar glaze. Quite frankly… I’d forgotten the sensation of eating something so delicious that I wanted more… not because I was hungry… just because it was there. Honestly, I think the Bible says not to eat pork for a serious reason. Bacon… ham… it’s like a freaking drug!! I’m still thinking about it! The taste lingers in my mouth. The idea in my mind that there is a container of ham sitting in my refrigerator right this very moment! I could seriously sit down and eat every slice of it.

So. I do believe my husband will be having a very thick ham sandwich for lunch and I will try very hard to get rid of the last bits of evidence of that delicious meal today. Back to fish and turkey and veggies. Back to eating food that’s good for my mind and body, not my emotions. Back to trying to lose the two pounds that snuck back on over the weekend, and yes, I can’t completely blame the ham… there were these Lemon cello cocktails with frozen grapes, and a bottle of wine or three that had something to do with that, too.

Honestly, I’m looking forward to once again being a sensible grown woman who eats healthy food. I also really enjoyed the weekend. Sometimes you have to fall off the wagon to remember why you were on it to begin with. It’s fun to be naughty, but far more rewarding to be good. But those Lemon Cello cocktails… yeah… I’m keeping those. Everyone needs a vice, after all.

8 thoughts on “Back to Behaving

  1. Well, if ham was your worst culinary sin, you’re way ahead of the game! Congrats on the 30-pound loss. That’s a wonderful achievement, as are all the healthy changes you’ve made. Baked goods remain my downfall. And chocolate, though I mostly love dark chocolate so at least that has some health benefits.

    “Times keep changing. Not worse. Not better. Just different.”—Yes, I love how you put that. So true.

    • ginabarlean@gmail.com says:

      True. Bread, sugar, carbs, pop… I’ve cut all of it out of my daily eating. I have it all on occasion, but it’s a treat. As it should be, I think.

  2. Gina, I really enjoyed this blog. Thank you! Yes, it’s difficult to eat sensibly around the holidays, but there’s always tomorrow to change our habits, right? Your insights on why we eat are spot on.

  3. lucy adkins says:

    This is a terrific blog post. You are so wise, Gina. And such a good writer and good person. Wishing you continuing good luck with all you do.

    • ginabarlean@gmail.com says:

      No one needs to worry about me. I can always find things to eat. Plus, when I’m out having fun, I do just that. Seafood is always a beautiful thing. Veggies and fruit. I’m just avoiding sugar and high carbs. So if we have pasta, I’ll have a small amount of noodles and more sauce. Do whatever you do and I’ll be just fine. And I cannot wait!!!! What’s the weather like there? Is it already hot?

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published.